


You make me forget all fear

by 8moons2stars



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-11-30
Packaged: 2018-11-15 07:11:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11225922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/8moons2stars/pseuds/8moons2stars
Summary: Seungwan moves into Joohyun's apartment for two years. Love and floof ensue. || College-ish AU.UPDATE: First part of epilogue uploaded!FINAL UPDATE: Last (and long af) part of epilogue uploaded!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title Source: Only U by TTS.
> 
> Disclaimer: I am unfamiliar with the Korean educational system, therefore I based the little school-y bits I sprinkled here on my own personal experiences.
> 
> SIDENOTE: Joohyun and Seulgi are the same age here, while Seungwan is a year younger than them.

**SIDENOTE:** Joohyun and Seulgi are the same age here, while Seungwan is a year younger than them.

* * *

The sound of the doorbell has Joohyun looking up from her phone.

She gets up from her living room sofa and walks towards the door, quickly glancing around to assess the current state of her apartment; she wants to leave her new roommate a good first impression, after all.

After making sure she doesn’t have any weird clutter lying around, she unlocks the front door and opens it. The sight of a shorter brunette shuffling her feet greets her. The girl is carrying a backpack on one shoulder, while a few more bags lay on the floor beside her. Said brunette looks up and gives her a tentative smile. She seems to be a bit jittery, her feet and arms constantly moving around while Joohyun gives her a quick survey from head-to-toe.

“Hi, I’m Son Seungwan, and I apologize in advance for disturbing your peace for two years.”

Joohyun chuckles at the girl’s awkward attempt at humor. “I’m Joohyun. And you’re forgiven,” she tells the girl with a reassuring smile, wanting to ease her nerves. Joohyun is sure that they’ll get comfortable with each other as time passes. They have two years for that, after all. She begins to help Seungwan settle in by picking up some of the bags on the floor.

“Oh! No, no it’s—“

“Let me,” she interrupts Seungwan and carries the bags inside her –  _their –_ apartment _._

Seungwan has no choice but to accept her help, bringing with her the remaining bags as she steps inside.

Joohyun watches Seungwan check the place out and notices the shorter girl’s eyes go comically round in awe. Joohyun tries to look around the room from her new roommate’s perspective. She supposes it _does_ look really nice for a supposed college student’s apartment. The walls are painted a light shade of purple, and the flooring is a shiny, chocolate hardwood. The kitchen and dining area take up half of the wide open space, while the living room—complete with a huge beige sofa, flat screen TV, and mahogany coffee table—takes up the other half. Adjacent to the living room is a short and narrow hallway containing three white doors: one for her room, the other a guest room–which will now be Seungwan’s room—and lastly, one for their shared bathroom.

“Feel free to take a look around,” Joohyun tells the girl.

Seungwan jerks a bit in surprise—which Joohyun finds amusing since she’s usually the one who gets surprised easily—and smiles at Joohyun shyly before tentatively walking towards the kitchen.

Right. Seungwan’s going to be cooking their meals during her entire stay. Joohyun had argued to her father that he didn't have to burden the foreign student who was staying with her with such a task, but he had explicitly stated that Seungwan was the one who didn’t take no for an answer. _I guess I_ would _feel kind of guilty if I were to be living in an apartment like this for free, too._

Her father had told her of her new roommate two weeks ago, saying that she’s his old friend’s daughter from Canada who wanted to finish up her studies here in Seoul before going into medical school. His friend had asked Joohyun’s father if he knew of any suitable apartments for his daughter, and her father had said he had found the perfect one: his daughter Joohyun’s.

Joohyun honestly doesn’t mind. It does get quite lonely here since the apartment’s big enough to actually house four people, or even more. The only part that ruffled her feathers a bit was her father not-so-subtly mentioning how having a studious girl like Seungwan may motivate Joohyun to study harder as well.

Sure, Joohyun always got grades near the passing mark, but at least they were _passing_. The main reason why she didn’t take enough initiative to study was because she was going to inherit her father’s business once she graduated anyway.

“What would you like for dinner?” Seungwan’s voice startles Joohyun back to the present. While Joohyun has been temporarily lost in her own thoughts, Seungwan had taken a peek inside the huge refrigerator in the kitchen and found…basically nothing. Nothing that could be turned into a decent meal, at least. Seungwan realizes that she has to do some grocery shopping to stock up.

“Um…you don’t have to start cooking now. I’m sure you've had a long flight and are probably very tired.”

“No, I’m fine,” Seungwan tells her with a smile, although Joohyun doesn’t fail to notice the fatigue beginning to seep into the former’s bright eyes.

“I already ordered food for the two of us, so you really don’t have to worry,” Joohyun lies, taking pity on the girl. “Your room’s on the right, and the bathroom’s the door in the middle. The one on the left is my room,” she informs Seungwan, pointing at the three doors. “Let me help you with your things so you can get settled.”

Seungwan looks at her like she wants to reject her help, but Joohyun cocks an eyebrow at her. Seungwan smartly stays silent, besides a shy “thank you,” and lets Joohyun carry some of her bags.

Once all of Seungwan’s things are placed inside her room, Joohyun excuses herself, saying that she has to do something in her own room (so that she can quickly call a restaurant for food delivery), but before she could take a step out into the hallway, a hand on her forearm stops her.

She looks back at Seungwan, whose face has visibly lit up, previously tired eyes now remarkably clear. “Thank you,” she tells Joohyun with utmost sincerity, stunning the taller girl. Joohyun knows it’s not really her Seungwan should be thanking; she should be thanking her father instead.

But as Joohyun closes the door behind her, she feels like she wants to thank her father too. _Why didn’t I think of getting a roommate sooner?_

 

*******

 

Joohyun bites back a moan and settles on sighing blissfully instead.

“God, so good…”

Seungwan laughs, looking behind her at the girl stuffing her face with the puttanesca she had just cooked. “I’m glad my cooking makes you happy.”

“Very. Stop studying biology and take up culinary arts instead!”

“Cooking is something I enjoy. I don’t really want it to become something I’m obligated to do,” Seungwan states as she washes the utensils she has just used for cooking their meal.

 _But you’re cooking for me…to ‘pay’ for living in this apartment._ Joohyun scrunches her eyebrows together as the thought enters her head. She stops herself (albeit very reluctantly) from further vacuuming up the pasta and voices her thoughts out loud to the girl by the sink.

Seungwan pauses her washing. “I…don’t really see cooking for you an obligation, Joohyun-unnie. You know your dad told me it wasn’t necessary for me to do these things, so when I do them, I don’t really feel like it’s a job…you know?” Seungwan tries her best to explain it to her.

Joohyun understands, although she still feels kind of bad that Seungwan has to cook for her in the first place.

Joohyun didn't realize how unhealthy her diet was until a month ago, when Seungwan began living with her. Back then, if she were too impatient to wait for the usual food delivery of whatever she was craving, she would just result to boiling ramyeon and topping it off with an egg.

Seungwan’s daily meals are now a blissful luxury to her. Breakfast consisted of pancakes, waffles or something savory like bacon and eggs, instead of her previous meal choice: cereal or toast—basically anything that would take under 5 minutes to prepare. Lunch or dinner would then be a variety of things, from Korean dishes to western ones that Seungwan had learned to prepare during her many years in Canada. Only one thing has been constant among them: they were all mouthwateringly delicious.

Seungwan shouldn’t even be preparing these meals for her, especially during weekends when the younger girl has a part-time job at a café as a barista. But Seungwan would always cook more servings during Thursdays and Fridays so Joohyun could heat up the leftovers during the weekend.

The verdict: Joohyun is being ridiculously spoiled by her very own personal-chef-slash-roommate Son Seungwan.

Seungwan, who hasn’t taken a single bite of the puttanesca and is still currently rinsing the dishes.

Joohyun realizes that Seungwan always does this: wash the dishes while Joohyun eats at the table. Seungwan would always decline her offer of eating with her and would tell her that she will just eat in her room while studying. She doesn’t realize the pattern until now, since they would always be making small talk, allowing Joohyun to forget (and okay maybe it was because the meals were so good that she barely looked up from her plate).

Joohyun decidedly stands up and takes a plate and a pair of chopsticks from the drawer. She walks towards Seungwan and turns off the faucet the other girl was still using.

“Wha—“ Joohyun grabs Seungwan’s still-wet hand and drags her to sit beside her.

“Sit. Eat,” is all she tells her.

Seungwan blinks at her, and her innocently clueless expression makes the corners of Joohyun’s lips lift up. _Adorable._

“Uh…I’m fine, unnie. I’ll eat when I—“ She stops talking when Joohyun fills up her plate with heaping portions of pasta.

“Eat. With me.”

Seungwan opens her mouth to most probably decline her offer _again_ but Joohyun interrupts and asks “Why do you never eat with me?”

Seungwan’s eyes get bigger, thinking that she has probably offended Joohyun-unnie with her actions. “I-It’s not that...it’s…”

“Is it because you feel like some kind of servant?” Joohyun figures that being blunt would be better for this conversation.

Seungwan’s eyes get even bigger (how is that even possible?), and her eyebrows shoot to the sky. “N-no!”

But Joohyun sees it in her eyes. The insecurity. And Joohyun hates it.

“Seungwan. _I_ should be the one subservient to you. You make all these dishes for me and all I do is moan about how good it is. _I’m_ the one who owes you here, okay? Don’t ever feel like you owe me anything. I’m not even paying for this place; my father is. And so far he’s benefiting from this as much as you are. He’s pleased that I have a roommate who’s responsible, nice _and_ a great cook. And he’s delighted that I now eat home-cooked meals when I’m at home. So don’t ever feel like you don’t belong here, okay?” Joohyun ends her spiel with her hand grasping Seungwan’s, in case her speech doesn’t reassure Seungwan enough.

For a while, Seungwan doesn’t say anything. Then it happens all at once. Her face lights up almost blindingly, and her eyes no longer hold the doubt Joohyun had seen in it earlier. It has been replaced by so much warmth and sparkle (how do her eyes sparkle like _that_?) that it makes Joohyun all warm inside. And then she no longer sees Seungwan’s face because her roommate has gotten off her seat and has wrapped her arms around Joohyun. Joohyun’s insides warm even further, the heat moving up to her neck and face as Seungwan surrounds her senses. Joohyun has never been this close to Seungwan before, and she will not mind if it were to happen again.

 

*******

 

Joohyun checks the time. Midnight. Her brain is barely making any sense of the words in front of her anymore. She needs a break.

Craving some milk tea, she decides to get some from the store a block away from the apartment. Taking her wallet and keys with her, she’s closing the door to her room behind her when she notices Seungwan’s slightly ajar door across the hall. _She’s probably studying for midterms too. Maybe she also wants a drink._

Joohyun walks up to Seungwan’s door and knocks softly. “Seungwan?”

When Joohyun receives no response, she opens the door a little more and sees her roommate sleeping away on her desk. Seungwan’s face is turned towards Joohyun’s, the former’s eyelashes shadowing her cheeks, but what completes the picture is the small amount of drool trailing from her slightly open mouth to her textbook. Joohyun bites back a giggle, not wanting to wake the sleeping angel who deserves more than a few minutes of rest.

Joohyun knows that if her midterms were killing her, Seungwan probably has it way worse, as the latter is studying hard enough to earn herself the reputation of being one of the top students in their university. She has also heard from her father that Seungwan’s academic standing was the same when she was still in Canada. Seungwan has also admitted to her during one of their dinner conversations that she's trying to gain a full scholarship to medical school. And to top it all off, Seungwan still makes enough time to work part-time _and_ cook Joohyun amazing dishes.

Joohyun knows she could— _should—_ put her foot down and make Seungwan stop cooking for her, but the thing is, she doesn’t want to. It’s incredibly selfish of her, but she likes spending time with Seungwan during breakfast and dinner. She likes getting to know her roommate better.

Joohyun lifts her gaze away from the sleeping brunette and notices the empty coffee cup beside the girl. Right. Seungwan likes coffee. Joohyun realizes her roommate probably ends up buying coffee outside since they don’t have a coffee maker in the apartment, what with Joohyun never needing one since she doesn’t drink the beverage. An idea forms in her head, and she takes a mental note of it.

After another amused glance at her lightly snoring roommate, Joohyun quietly closes Seungwan’s door behind her and leaves to get them both their much-needed caffeine-induced fix.

 

***

 

Seungwan jerks awake an hour later, her head rising along with the page of her textbook that has her drool stuck to it. Cringing, she wipes the page with her shirt as she blinks at her clock. She sighs, knowing that she shouldn’t have taken that short nap, but also grateful for it. She needed that. Badly.

She finally notices the large iced coffee drink beside her. A filled one, replacing the drink she has finished earlier, which is now nowhere to be found.

Her smile lights up the entire room as she realizes that there was only one person who could’ve given her that drink.

The morning after next, the scent of brewing coffee fills Seungwan’s nostrils the moment she opens the door to her room.

 

***

 

Seungwan jolts awake with a start, a page of her textbook once again sticking to one side of her face.

 _I can’t believe I fell asleep_ again.

During her days in Canada, Seungwan was never one to fall asleep while studying. She always seemed to dedicate enough enthusiasm towards her studies. She still enjoys learning new things in her classes right now, but her part-time job has taken a huge toll on her. _And it’s only been four months._

Seungwan knows she doesn’t really need to work since she’s already living in a rent-free apartment. Her parents also never fail to send her a generous allowance every week, and most of her meals are already paid for, since Joohyun’s father is the one paying for the groceries that she uses to cook meals for Joohyun and herself.

Although working isn’t necessary, Seungwan thrives on the fact that she now has a growing sum saved up in her own bank account. Even though she has to sacrifice sleep in order to still continue doing well in her studies, Seungwan thinks it’ll be worth it in the end.

She will in fact need to look for a new apartment in less than two years, and that’s when her savings can be put to good use. This thought makes Seungwan a little sad; she has been quite fond of Joohyun’s company, even if they usually only get to interact during their shared meals. She finds living with the older girl… _comfortable_ , to say the least.

Seungwan snaps out of her thoughts once she realizes that she still hasn’t removed the paper subtly scratching her face. She finally does so, and she forces herself to get up and move towards the kitchen. Maybe coffee will help keep her awake. No, she’s _sure_ coffee will keep her awake. _Thank you, coffee god, for never letting me down._

Seungwan suddenly realizes how oddly quiet the apartment is, and recalls how Joohyun had peeked through her door a few hours ago, letting her know that Joohyun was going out with her friends for a while. It’s weird that Seungwan even notices the difference in the silence, since Joohyun prefers to study or do whatever she wants to do in her own room anyway, and Seungwan does the same. Seungwan brushes it off as sleepy nonsense, not wanting to admit that her thoughts were borderline creepy.

She unconsciously smiles as she begins to use the coffee machine Joohyun had surprised her with. She still remembers the morning when she found Joohyun having a frustrated stare-down with the machine, somehow forgetting to place the coffee jug below the filter. Seungwan had watched in amused horror as steaming hot brewed coffee trickled over the counter and floor.

Knowing that Joohyun doesn’t drink coffee, Seungwan knows that the machine was bought solely for her, and she doesn’t know what to do with the warmth that goes through her every time she thinks about it.

She opens the pantry to retrieve the ground coffee beans, but halts her movements once she hears the fumbling of keys and a muffled thump on the apartment door.

Her mouth lifts, knowing it could only be one person at the door, but she freezes once she hears what could only be described as a soft moan from the other side. The fumbling to insert the key into the lock also takes far longer than usual.

Suddenly, the door bursts open, and Seungwan awkwardly watches Joohyun walking backwards. Because a girl was pushing Joohyun. And then pulling her, yanking Seungwan’s roommate back in by gripping the collar of her shirt.

All Seungwan can register in her confused sleep-addled brain are hands. All over. Going everywhere. Yanking everywhere. And then sounds. Sounds that made her bite back a gasp because she sure as hell didn’t want to hear those sounds. Not from that girl. Not from her roommate. Well, maybe….. _wait what the heck are you thinking Son Seungwan don’t even go_ there _._

Seungwan doesn’t realize that it’s been five minutes since Joohyun had closed the door to her own room, thankfully muffling any more intimate sounds. Five minutes of Seungwan gripping the pantry door, still a little bit shocked. A whiff of alcohol permeates the still air.

Finally, Seungwan moves, closing the cabinet and walking quietly back to her room. She sits down, plugs her earphones to her phone, puts them on and goes back to studying. She doesn’t need coffee to keep her awake anymore.

 

***

 

Joohyun wakes up around noon, feeling the worst feeling anyone could ever feel, at least that’s what she thinks right now. It takes her five minutes to remember who she is and what she's done last night to cause such a feeling of death. It takes her another two to slowly look around her room to find no trace of her companion (Joohyun calls her that because she honestly cannot remember her name). But Joohyun knows she had been there, because her inner thighs are still a little sore. She’s glad that she doesn’t have to deal with the usual awkward one-night stand goodbye though.

It takes her a couple more minutes to finally get off her bed and search for something that can wash the feeling of death and regret away. Seeing Seungwan’s door once she opens her own, Joohyun wonders if her roommate had witnessed or heard anything last night. Joohyun has never really broached on the topic of her sexuality with the younger girl. A pang of fear hits her as she imagines Seungwan having a homophobic reaction towards the whole thing, but this feeling vanishes as soon as she walks towards the kitchen and sees what is left on the dining table.

She reads the post-it first.

_Maybe these will help remove the feeling of death a little. Take the pills first, and then drink the hangover soup. :) -S_

That is all the note says, but something in Joohyun’s chest clenches and warms, and she stands there, stupidly grinning at a piece of paper.

 

***

 

“Thank God we finally have a free cut for this class. Now I can finally get some dessert!” Joohyun’s friend Seulgi exclaims enthusiastically, grabbing herself a food tray as she lines up with Joohyun in the school’s cafeteria.

It’s the first time this semester that their professor isn’t able to meet with them. They usually end up having a late lunch, since the class’s schedule overlaps with the usual lunch time, therefore most food options are already unavailable when they arrive at the cafeteria.

After getting and paying for their food, Joohyun and Seulgi occupy one of the nearest tables and begin to dig in to their meal. Only a few tables are occupied, since lunch time is still half an hour away.

As Joohyun chews on her rice, thinking about the quiz she will be having later, Seulgi’s words break her away from her thoughts. “Hey, isn’t that your roommate?”

Joohyun looks at the direction Seulgi’s finger is pointed towards. Seungwan is occupying one of the tables farthest from them, head bowed down, with her dark brown bangs shadowing her face as she reads from the textbook in front of her. This is the first time that Joohyun has actually seen Seungwan in school in six months, mainly due to the differences in their schedules.

Joohyun watches as Seungwan distractedly shovels food into her mouth from the plate on her right, and Joohyun thinks that Seungwan probably doesn’t taste a thing with how hard the latter is concentrating on her book. Joohyun’s lips unconsciously quirk in amusement.

“Why are you staring at her like that?” Seulgi asks her, looking back and forth between the two.

Joohyun becomes conscious of her small smile, and immediately drops it. “What? She’s–it’s cute. How she practically burns the book with her eyes,” Joohyun defends.

“Maybe if I stare at our economics book like that, I’ll top the class like her too…” Seulgi contemplates.

Joohyun hums a wordless reply, back to observing Seungwan, her food long forgotten and her chopsticks slightly hovering midair.

She notices that Seungwan has her earphones on, and she wonders how she can concentrate on reading while listening to music. Joohyun personally finds it hard to do so while she studies, preferring the quiet, because most of the time, she just ends up humming or singing along to the songs, and she loses her focus.

“She’s pretty,” Seulgi comments. Joohyun looks at her friend, eyebrows furrowing. “Why haven’t you jumped her yet?”

Joohyun’s mouth opens in shock at her friend’s seemingly offhand statement. She is saved from giving a most likely stupid reply when she notices a guy standing across Seungwan, looking like he’s trying to strike up a conversation with the girl.

Seungwan removes one of her earphones and responds with a smile. The guy eventually sits down across from her and opens a book identical to the one she’s reading.

“Isn’t that the second smartest biology major?” Seulgi again rhetorically asks her. “Well, he _was_ the first before Wendy came along,” she adds with a whisper, like it was some kind of gossip. _Nerdy_ gossip. How does Seulgi even know these things?

Before Joohyun gets to voice out her thoughts, she notes something in Seulgi’s words that grasps more of her attention. “Wait…Wendy?”

“Yeah…your roommate’s…name?”

“What? No, her name is Seungwan. Son Seungwan.”

“Uhh…maybe that’s her real name? But she prefers to be called Wendy around campus.”

_Wendy?_

Joohyun mouths the word, tests it out. She thinks it somehow first perfectly with the brunette, but the name Seungwan does too.

“Wait…she never told you to call her Wendy?”

“She uh…no.”

“Huh.”

_Huh, indeed._

 

***

 

“Wendy…”

Seungwan chokes on her water, coughing hard for a few seconds.

Joohyun patiently waits for her roommate to stop spluttering, calmly twirling the carbonara in front of her.

Seungwan’s – no, _Wendy’s_ – cheeks have turned a light shade of pink.

“Unnie…how did you–?”

“I go to the same university as you, you know.”

“Ah…right…” Wendy scratches the back of her head nervously, and Joohyun stares at her in amusement. She kind of likes seeing the younger girl all flustered. _So cute._

“You tell everyone to call you Wendy, and yet…with me…”

“No! It’s not what you think, unnie!” Wendy’s eyes have become comically big again. _So. Cute._ “It’s just…I…”

Wendy sighs. Tries to collect her thoughts so she can voice out her intentions properly.

“Look, unnie. I came to Korea without knowing a single person here. My entire family’s back in Canada…and…well, I can be really independent and all, but it doesn’t stop me from missing them from time-to-time.”

Joohyun’s heart softens and tightens at her roommate’s words. Joohyun wants to hug her fiercely, to comfort her, but she knows that Wendy still has more things to say, so she barely stops herself from tackling the girl.

“In Canada, everyone in school also called me Wendy. But every time I came home, all I heard was ‘Seungwan.’ My family still calls me by my real name. And so, when I met you, I just thought that I wanted someone to still call me Seungwan. To be…kind of…like my family. So…umm, unnie…I’m sor-“

 _Seungwan_ stops speaking as Joohyun springs from her seat and wraps her in a tight embrace.

“Unnie, I-I can’t breathe!”

 

***

 

Joohyun regrets this. Kind of. No…not really.

She sighs and tries to focus on the notes and textbook before her.

After fifteen minutes, she spaces out again.

Not really spaces out…more like…gets distracted. By the girl beside her, who is clearly not as distracted as she is, since she’s still studying diligently.

Joohyun can’t help it if said girl smelled so good; Joohyun just wants to bury her nose on her neck and just…be.

Joohyun’s eyes widen as she realizes how weird her thoughts have gotten lately. Stupid distracting Canadian. Stupid distracting Canadian who somehow made Joohyun request for a little study date with her because Joohyun didn’t know how else to ask her out without it seeming like it _was_ a hang out. Although Joohyun knows that she can always just spend some time in the café Seungwan is working in, she knows her presence will be questioned there, since she has been dubbed as a “coffee hater” by her roommate herself.

Next time, she was just going to outright ask Seungwan to go out with her. NOT in the going-out-like-a-date kind of way, mind you. Just a simple, platonic—

“Unnie, you’re spacing out again.”

“Err…no, I’m not!”

“Mmhmm…”

Joohyun glares at the girl beside her, who isn’t even sparing her a single glance! How could she have known that she was spacing out?

Feeling somewhat annoyed, Joohyun tries to distract her roommate. Not that she wants Seungwan’s attention. Nope. Not at all.

She leans her head against Seungwan’s shoulder, trying to take a peek at what the girl is reading.

Oops. Big mistake. Now Seungwan’s vanilla perfume smells even stronger. Abort. Abort.

Her body doesn’t listen to her brain.

“Unnie…”

Joohyun merely hums in reply, too distracted by the shorter girl’s scent. Seungwan smells even better than fabric conditioner, and that’s saying something.

“I thought you wanted us to study. Together.”

Joohyun sighs dejectedly, finally detaching herself from the other girl. “Fine, fine. It’s just that…this stupid biology elective is so hard! How the hell are you able to study this as your major??”

With this statement, Seungwan finally turns to look at her with a smile on her face. “I know it’s difficult, unnie. But I actually find the whole course interesting, so it’s easier for me. Uhh, why don’t I help you? What parts do you not get?”

Joohyun immediately brightens up at the idea and agrees. She knows she’s probably taking away Seungwan’s precious study time for her own majors, but she’ll make it up to her with daily coffee and bagel offerings. She knows Seungwan loves those.

Joohyun now has an excuse to lean against Seungwan’s shoulder, with her biology textbook laid out in front of them.

Although Seungwan’s perfume is still quite overpowering, Joohyun now basks in it comfortably, and she doesn’t get distracted for two hours straight.

Maybe she should’ve taken _two_ biology electives.

 

***

 

Seungwan rubs her aching forehead, attempting to dissipate the pain.

This week has been one of the most stressful ones yet, with all her majors requiring project after project, exam after exam. Like the students were robots that did not have to eat nor sleep to recharge their energy.

She checks the time on the living room clock, noting that any minute now, Joohyun will be bursting through the door and demanding to be fed.

Seungwan really wants to cook for her roommate—no, they were more than that now… _friends_ even—because she loves seeing the bliss on Joohyun’s face once she takes a bite, but Seungwan just _can’t_ right now. She’ll have to apologize profusely and Joohyun will have to order in. Seungwan will just have to make it up to her someday.

As if on queue, Seungwan hears the jingle of keys and the turning of a lock, and with a click, Bae Joohyun bursts through the apartment door.

“Wannieeeee~!!!” Joohyun’s face is flushed, like she’d been running the entire way from the university to their home (she kind of had). And her eyes are sparkling. _Spark. Ling._ And she holds a grin that threatens to split her face in half.

Seeing her friend happy makes Seungwan feel way better than the aspirin she had taken half an hour ago.

In the blink of an eye, Joohyun is in front of her, but then she is immediately blocked from view by the piece of paper she thrusts onto Seungwan’s face.

All Seungwan sees is a blur, and she chuckles, grasping Joohyun’s wrists to push the paper back slightly so that she can actually read whatever was stated there.

The first thing that attracts Seungwan’s attention is the big red 91 encircled at the upper right hand corner of the page. She then reads through and finds out that this is the exam paper for the biology elective Seungwan had helped Joohyun study for.

She holds the older girl’s hands tighter, bringing the paper down so that they could look at each other.

Seungwan matches the grin on the other girl’s face, headache momentarily forgotten. “Wow!!! Daebak! I knew you could do it!”

Seungwan’s head spins once again, but this time she gets dizzy from Joohyun’s lavender scent when Joohyun envelopes her in a bone-crushing hug. She hugs her back just as tightly.

Seungwan doesn’t know how long they stay there, locked in an embrace. Soon, she becomes all too conscious about Joohyun’s curves wrapped around her, and she pulls away, trying to cool down from the sudden rise in body temperature she was experiencing from being too close to her roommate.

She feels Joohyun pull away as well, although she swears that the latter was doing it as slowly as possible.

Before Seungwan can fully recover, a warm hand holds her own and drags her towards the apartment door. “I hope you haven’t started cooking yet, because we’re eating out, Seungwan. My treat. And a movie too.”

Seungwan blinks, processing Joohyun’s words while she gets pulled outside. The warmth she had felt earlier from the hug comes back in full force.

Seungwan’s stress-induced headache doesn’t come back for the rest of the night, although the same was not to be said about the Joohyun-induced one.

 

***

 

Joohyun sees Seungwan in the cafeteria once again, and now she completely understands Seulgi’s happiness towards free cuts.

Instead of taking her usual seat, Joohyun decides to approach the younger girl at the end of the cafeteria, a curious Seulgi trailing behind her.

She feels a sense of déjà vu as she observes Seungwan, who is staring at (more like visually incinerating) her textbook and chewing her food at the same time, just like a month ago.

Joohyun sets her tray down in front of Seungwan and waits. It doesn’t take long for Seungwan to notice her presence and look up, and she gives Joohyun one of the brightest smiles she has ever witnessed. Joohyun's breath unconsciously catches at the sight, and the sarcastic remark she was thinking of saying vanishes into thin air.

Joohyun gets her bearings straight once again as Seungwan focuses her smile on Seulgi, who waves in response. Joohyun makes the necessary introductions, and she and Seulgi finally take a seat across from the brunette.

“You should eat properly, Wan-ah. I don’t think you’re even tasting anything because you’re so busy burning a hole through that damn textbook. Lunch break should also be considered as a study break for you.”

Seungwan chuckles at the motherly remark from the older girl, who narrows her eyes. Seungwan watches Joohyun direct her scary gaze at the book in front of her like it was the most annoying thing on earth, making the former quickly close it and set it aside; the book was expensive and Seungwan doesn’t want to buy a new one.

Seulgi laughs quietly, amused at the exchange between the two girls. “Joohyun’s such a nagger, right?” She remarks, as if Joohyun wasn’t there.

Seungwan smiles at her and nods, ignoring the scathing look the girl in question directs at the two of them. “Yeah, but I like it. I like it when Joohyun-unnie cares,” Seungwan shyly says, pretending to concentrate on eating her lunch. She fails to catch the distinct blush that has now crept up the older girl’s cheeks.

“Say, Wendy,” Seulgi starts. “I heard that Mark asked you out yesterday.”

The younger girl immediately turns red. “Ah…uhmm…h-he did but…” she stutters.

Joohyun looks at Seulgi sharply, and then at Seungwan. _Mark asked Seungwan out? Who is this ‘Mark?’_

“Ah, sorry, I didn’t mean to pry,” Seulgi says (although she did mean to).

“You…didn’t say yes?” Joohyun asks Seungwan curiously.

“I…umm…no. I have a lot of exams coming up…so…yeah,” Seungwan replies, her right hand scratching the back of her neck nervously. She avoids looking at Joohyun’s eyes.

Joohyun’s eyebrows scrunch up at Seungwan’s response. The latter shouldn’t keep letting her studies overshadow her social life. Bio majors partied and dated too, right? If Seungwan doesn’t let loose once in a while, she will end up caving over from stress, and Joohyun doesn’t want that to happen.

“You should date. Or party. Or something. I…I don’t want you to just focus on things that stress you out,” Joohyun advises her roommate.

Her statement catches Seungwan’s attention, making her look at Joohyun. “You…you want me to date?”

“Or party! Just…relax and spend time with other people. But if…you know, if dating will make you feel relaxed and happy, then go for it!” Joohyun exclaims with a little too much enthusiasm.

Neither of the two girls notice Seulgi smirking in the sidelines, internally laughing at their adorable aloofness.

 

***

 

Joohyun is robotically surfing through the channels in the living room's TV, feeling quite bored. It’s a Friday night, and she’s usually partying the stress of school away by now, but recently, she has lost her enthusiasm for such things. She tags it off as becoming more mature, since she _is_ graduating this year.

Rather than craving alcohol, she is now craving ice cream. Knowing that Seungwan is home tonight, she decides to invite her to grab some dessert. As if she conjured her from her mind, Joohyun hears one of the doors behind her open.

“Seungwan, you wanna get some—“ Joohyun begins to say as she turns her head to look at her roommate, but immediately stops talking as her brain does a mental double-take at the sight before her.

Seungwan is wearing a one-shoulder black dress with matching heels, and Joohyun’s mind is stuttering. Joohyun’s eyes trickle down to note how the dress ends mid-thigh, and now she can’t look away from Seungwan’s legs. It’s not like she hasn’t seen Seungwan’s bare legs before, but _wow_.

“Do I look okay?” Seungwan’s nervous query snaps Joohyun out of her pervy thoughts. Joohyun opens her mouth to say “You look _way_ more than okay,” but something different comes out: “Where are you going?”

Seungwan bites her lip anxiously, feeling like she’s being interrogated by her parents back in Canada. “I…uh…you told me to go on a date, so…”

Joohyun mentally smacks herself. Hard.

“…Right.”

“I’ll be home by midnight, don’t worry, unnie.”

_MIDNIGHT?!_

“Right. Sure.”

Seungwan fidgets some more, feeling uncomfortable and surprised by Joohyun’s staring and cold words. Thankfully, the doorbell rings and saves her from further scrutiny. She practically runs to the door and opens it.

Joohyun looks on as Seungwan and some guy talk quietly. She cranes her neck, but sadly the door is blocking the guy from view. Until Seungwan opens it wider and lets the guy enter.

“Joohyun-unnie, this is Mark. Mark, this is my roommate, Joohyun-unnie,” Seungwan introduces the two to each other. Joohyun realizes that the guy was the one who had sat down with Seungwan in the cafeteria.

Mark gives Joohyun a ninety-degree bow in greeting, and the latter tries to hold back a snort. She gives him a frigid smile in response, making sure it doesn’t reach her eyes. Joohyun sees him visibly gulp, and she bites back a smirk.

Seeing how scary Joohyun is being, Seungwan grabs Mark’s upper arm, bids her unnie goodbye, and practically drags him out of the apartment before he burns from Joohyun’s stare alone. Seungwan doesn’t notice how Joohyun’s eyes get even stormier when the latter zeroes in on her grip on the boy.

 

***

 

Weeks turn into a month. Joohyun has watched Seungwan go on five dates with five different people. Well, not really _watched._ She was merely there to scrutinize whomever it was from head to toe every time Seungwan introduces them to her, until the younger girl pulls them out of the apartment hastily, forever afraid of Joohyun’s barely suppressed glares.

It was annoying.

Infuriating.

 _Aggravating_.

More so because Seungwan just dated _men_. Sure, this didn’t mean that Seungwan is 100% straight, but it dampens Joohyun’s already soaked spirits just the same.

Joohyun has hit herself mentally so many times for suggesting the whole dating thing that her psychological self is probably in the hospital. Or dead.

She’s not sure how she was able to concentrate enough on her studies in order to pass all her classes during her last semester. It was a miracle, really.

 

***

 

Joohyun is walking towards the apartment, having just come from her graduation dinner with her family and Seungwan.

Seungwan, who is walking beside her. Seungwan, who is wearing a really pretty white dress that’s preventing Joohyun’s eyes from leaving her form for more than a minute.

It’s a _really_ pretty dress. Worn by a _really_ pretty girl.

Joohyun quickly opens the door for the both of them, hardly being able to contain her excitement for tonight. It’s odd, but the excitement she feels for tonight is so much greater than what she had felt during her graduation this morning.

Joohyun's glad that Seungwan has agreed to this. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision, but Joohyun had gotten kind of desperate. She doesn’t want this day to end the same way as all the previous days she’s had with the girl beside her.

She walks inside and turns on the lights before plopping down the couch and tugging on her heels. She throws her shoes haphazardly across the room, earning an amused laugh from Seungwan.

Seungwan picks up the scattered pair and deposits them beside the door, along with her own shoes. She then sits beside Joohyun on the couch and places the heavy plastic bag she was carrying on the coffee table. Seungwan fidgets a little, thinking twice about her decision of saying yes for tonight.

Joohyun stretches out on the couch and yawns.

Seungwan sees this as an opportunity. “You’re tired, unnie. Maybe we should—“

“No.”

Seungwan’s mouth snaps shut. Joohyun can be pretty intimidating when she wants to be.

“…Okay. It’s just that…I’ve never really drank Korean alcohol before. …I don’t know my limit, unnie.”

Joohyun smirks, noticing how nervous Seungwan is. Joohyun probably looks like a predator grinning like that, but she doesn’t really care. Seungwan is cute, and she wants to have fun with her. She also realizes that Seungwan may end up dating people who will force her to drink, and Joohyun hopes this will help her roommate know her limits. Joohyun’s smile turns into an annoyed frown as she pictures other people drinking with Seungwan.

“…Unnie?”

Joohyun shakes off the distracting image and focuses on the present. “Don’t worry, Wan-ah. I’ll take care of you if you drink too much. It will also be good for you to know your limits, so you won’t get taken advantage of.”

Seungwan ponders Joohyun’s words for a few seconds before tentatively nodding in response. “Okay.”

Joohyun goes through the bag’s contents and brings out 3 bottles of cold soju. She gets up and takes two cups from the cupboard and brings them back with her to the living room. She opens one of the bottles and pours a shot for each of them, smiling at Seungwan when she hands her one of the cups. “Cheers.”

Seungwan laughs and playfully bumps her cup against Joohyun’s. “Cheers, unnie. And congratulations!”

 

***

 

Maybe three bottles were too much. Or was it four? Or five?

Joohyun blearily blinks at the bottles strewn all over the table, trying to count them.

“Joohyun-unnie.”

Joohyun stops at four when she hears Seungwan address her.

“Hmm?”

“You’re reeeeeeally pretty.” Seungwan can’t help but laugh at the dumbfounded expression on Joohyun’s face. “Really. Incredibly. Wait. Not pretty. Beautiful? Gorgeous? Ethereal? What other words are synonymous for beautiful, unnie?”

“Umm…goddess-like?”

“OH! Yes! You are that, too.” Seungwan can’t stop giggling as she stares at Joohyun.

Joohyun doesn’t know what to do. It’s like a weird fuzzy dream where the tables have been turned. Those were usually her _own_ thoughts about Seungwan. Is Seungwan a mind-reader?

“Hmm…what else? Stunning! Yes! Uh…hmm…damn, I need a thesaurus.”

“Seungwan.”

“Yes?”

“What are you…why are you saying this?”

“I…I don’t know. I think I’m drunk. Now I know my limit! How many bottles was it, unnie? Six?”

“…I don’t know. I thought it was four or five.”

“Oh. Well. Then maybe I should stop at three.”

“…Do you…do you tell the truth when you’re drunk?”

“I think so. They say my words become unfiltered. Shit. This is why I didn’t want to drink with you, unnie.”

“…Why?”

“Because…because.”

“What?”

Seungwan opens her mouth again, to probably say more unfiltered things, but she clamps a hand over it to stop herself. The younger girl realizes that she’s probably said too much, cursing in her head, and she fumbles around, trying to get up from the couch.

Joohyun’s hands prevent her from doing so: one tugging at her arm to bring her back down, and the other trying to uncover her mouth.

“Seungwan. Stay.”

Seungwan stops fighting and blinks her hazy eyes at Joohyun. “I’m not a dog, unnie.”

Joohyun grins. “No. A puppy, maybe. See! Even your pout proves it!”

Seungwan immediately stops pouting like a kicked puppy. She glances at Joohyun’s hand, which apparently hasn’t stopped holding onto her arm. Warmth rushes through Seungwan at the prolonged contact. The heat spikes further as Joohyun brushes her thumb lightly against her skin, drawing circles that makes Seungwan’s hair stand on end.

“U-unnie…”

“Hmm?”

“I…”

Joohyun stops staring at the place where her fingers meet Seungwan’s skin and looks up to watch the girl’s face. She barely holds back a gasp at Seungwan’s darkened eyes. Joohyun can also clearly see where the younger girl’s irises and pupils meet, and this makes her realize how physically close their faces have become.

They’re just a little bit drunk, Joohyun argues with herself. Maybe. And Joohyun’s always been fond of skinship, so the arm-caressing isn't totally unusual. What is surprising is Seungwan’s reaction to it all. _Could she be…?_

“Joohyun-ah.”

Joohyun’s thighs clench at the unfamiliar term of endearment coming from Seungwan’s lips. It’s not like no one’s ever called her that before. But why does it sound so… _hot_ …coming from Seungwan’s mouth?

“…Say that again.”

Seungwan’s eyes go half-lidded, and her gaze trails from Joohyun’s lips, to her neck, to her collarbone, then back up again. “Joohyun-ah,” she repeats, practically a whisper.

Joohyun holds back a shudder. _Oh my God._ And then Seungwan leans in, turning a little to the side so her mouth is an inch away from Joohyun’s ear. _OH my fucking God._

“Joohyun-unnie.” Joohyun closes her eyes at the feeling of Seungwan’s hot breath teasing her skin to flames.

“Hyun-ah.” Joohyun bites back a moan. Joohyun realizes that she doesn’t care what Seungwan calls her. Anything will sound like music to her ears.

Joohyun jerks as Seungwan finally does what the latter has wanted to do all night. Seungwan allows her forefinger to lightly trace Joohyun’s inviting collarbone. Back and forth. Endlessly.

Joohyun releases a shuddering breath, her eyes still closed. This is too much. They’re both drunk, but Seungwan is definitely drunker. The younger girl would never be this bold if she was sober.

“Unnie…”

All Joohyun does in response is tighten her fingers on Seungwan’s arm. She doesn’t think she’s capable of coherent speech right now.

“Do you like it…when I go on dates?”

Joohyun’s eyes flutter open in surprise. Her heart thuds harshly, and she’s sure Seungwan can hear it.

Seungwan has been honest this whole time. At least, Joohyun hopes. And so she decides to be honest as well. “No. Don’t. Don’t go on dates. I don’t…”

Seungwan’s finger stops moving against Joohyun’s skin, and Joohyun is sure that she hears Seungwan sigh against her.

Slowly, Seungwan pulls back, and Joohyun almost whines at the loss of warmth.

Joohyun looks at Seungwan’s eyes. They are still darker than normal, and they are shining, practically glittering. Joohyun realizes that she can get lost in those eyes. Get lost in those stars and never want to come back.

Seungwan chews her lip, and this inevitably draws the older girl’s gaze to them.

“We’re…we’re drunk, unnie.”

“…Yeah.”

“We should…we should go to bed.”

“…Okay.”

“Goodnight, unnie.”

“Goodnight, Seungwan.”

 

***

 

The morning after is quiet and awkward. At least for Joohyun. Although Seungwan’s tense shoulders and the nervous shifting of her eyes kind of give her away.

Joohyun wants to broach the topic of what they did last night. Not that they really did _anything_ , but…it couldn’t just have been a drunk mishap, right? People were more honest when they were drunk, and Seungwan _did_ mention that she had the reputation of being an honest drunk.

Seungwan is uncomfortably quiet right now, tapping her fingers incessantly on her mug, but is it because she remembers last night? Or is it because she doesn’t?

Joohyun feels like she might implode if she doesn’t get her answer, so she goes for it. “Do you remember what happened last night?”

Seungwan’s fingers stop their tapping. Joohyun carefully observes Seungwan’s face, looking for any signs that can lead her to the truth. All she sees is confusion and wariness.

“I don’t…not really, no. D-did I do something, unnie?” Confusion turns into horror. “Oh God, what did I—?”

“No. You didn’t. It’s…never mind.” Joohyun tries to mask her disappointment. Joohyun is usually thankful, but right now, she hates how she always seems to recall everything she does while she’s inebriated. Joohyun pretends that the voice yelling “ _But you weren’t even that drunk!”_ inside her does not exist.

Still. Seungwan may not be aware of what she had done, yet Joohyun holds on to the hope that her roommate must at least feel _something_ for her. Something beyond platonic. Seungwan wouldn’t have…touched her like that if she didn’t. Whispered at her like that. Called her those endearingly sexy nicknames with that low voice that had kept echoing inside Joohyun’s head the rest of the night, before she had finally drifted off to a restless sleep.

Joohyun wants to know. She wants to pursue this speculation of hers, but she doesn’t know _how_. As confident as Joohyun was with other women she’s been with, flirted with, and slept with, she feels incredibly unsure of herself with the brunette before her. Not to mention that there’s a mighty chance that Seungwan is straight…or believes she is. Sadly, Joohyun’s gaydar is not completely accurate. They also have about a year left of living together, and Joohyun doesn’t want to cause harm to their relationship in case she ends up being wrong.

It’s not like Joohyun is only fond of Seungwan’s company because the latter cooks for her and helps her with her homework; it’s so much more than that. The younger girl’s caring and almost motherly nature was what drew Joohyun in at first, but now, just the mere thought of spending time with Seungwan makes Joohyun giddy with excitement. She and Seungwan are able to talk about a plethora of things, and Joohyun loves how she never seems to get tired of conversing with Seungwan. Seungwan is intelligent, but her knowledge does not solely focus on academic discourse; Seungwan is also able to crack jokes and sarcastic remarks that are so well-timed, it always takes Joohyun a few seconds to realize that she’s been hit in the face with such wit.

Joohyun can spend days talking about her reasons for crushing on Seungwan, but Joohyun’s biggest downfall to the slippery slope of infatuation would have to be Seungwan’s singing voice.

Seungwan probably doesn’t know that Joohyun has grown attracted to her voice. Joohyun had been on her way to their shared bathroom, when she had heard muffled melodies filtering through the slightly open door of Seungwan’s bedroom. Entranced, Joohyun barely registered pushing the door open wider to alleviate her curiosity.

The singing became louder, and Joohyun had stood and watched as Seungwan passionately sang along to whatever English song was playing on her headphones. The shorter girl was sitting by her desk, studying diligently as always, failing to notice her roommate staring at her in awe.

From then on, whenever Joohyun would pass by Seungwan’s room, she would always strain her ears to check if the latter were singing again. It was kind of creepy, but Joohyun couldn’t help it; Seungwan’s voice was amazing.

“…Unnie? I’m really sorry if I…did something that made you uncomfortable. I don’t know—“

“You didn’t, okay? Nothing happened. Don’t worry about it.” Joohyun thinks that she might scream if Seungwan mentions her drunken amnesia one more time.

Setting aside her discontent, Joohyun is at least relieved that Seungwan hadn’t said that she remembers everything and regards it as a simple drunken mistake.

 

***

 

Joohyun has grown restless these past months. She can blame some of her frustrations on work, as being an intern for her father’s company has been quite stressful.

The rest she can blame on her infuriating roommate.

It’s safe to say that Seungwan had been avoiding her ever since the night of Joohyun’s graduation, when they had both drank copious amounts of alcohol and maybe confessed a feeling or two. Joohyun had only realized the gradual loss of contact after three months, since Seungwan had been steering clear of her as subtly as she could.

It’s not like Seungwan’s had a lot of free time before, but the girl locked herself inside her room every time Joohyun was around. Although Seungwan still cooked most of their meals, rarely did she eat with Joohyun anymore. Seungwan always made an excuse about having no appetite yet, and so Joohyun ended up eating at the dining table alone, as Seungwan once again went back inside her room.

Seungwan had also stopped going out on dates; at least, as far as Joohyun knew, since Seungwan had not been going out during the weekends, and neither had she introduced anyone new to Joohyun, which she had always done previously. The lack of dating further roused Joohyun’s suspicions of Seungwan lying to her about not remembering anything that night, since Joohyun clearly remembered stating her apprehension in seeing Seungwan go on dates.

Joohyun knows she should be angry about the lying. She wants to shake Seungwan and demand the truth. But once she does this, what then? Does she finally confess? If she does, what good would that do? Joohyun knows she can’t force a straight girl to bend a little unless she’s willing, and Joohyun knows Seungwan’s clearly having some issues with her sexual identity.

Then three months later, Seungwan suddenly pulls a one-eighty on Joohyun and begins to spend time with her again, almost like how they were before. Seungwan barely stays in her room anymore, except when she has to sleep and study. Joohyun doesn’t know what to think about this sudden shift, but she knows it’s confusing as hell.

But as confusing and frustrating as Seungwan may be, Joohyun still can’t help the attraction she feels for her. Joohyun can’t tamp down the fluttering at the pit of her stomach every time she sits next to Seungwan on the couch. Fails to dim down the stupid smile that splits across her face every time Seungwan laughs at her jokes.

Joohyun’s fallen into the stupid rabbit hole called ‘Son Seungwan’ and she doesn’t know how to claw her way out. Doesn’t know if she even _wants_ to.

_So, who’s the more screwed up one between us?_

 

***

 

Joohyun doesn’t know if turning down her father’s invitation to go to Japan for the Christmas holidays should be categorized as one of the best or worse decisions she’s ever made. Perhaps it’s a little bit of both.

After talking to her father on the phone, Joohyun leaves her room and immediately heads to the living room. Seungwan is on the sofa, reading a paperback. Joohyun observes her for a while, the usual Seungwan-induced warmth wrapping around her, along with a tentative feeling of excitement, and her feet instinctively lead her to the source of it all. Joohyun sinks down on the sofa and clings to Seungwan like a koala.

Seungwan’s a little bit taken aback, but she returns the hug with a small smile on her face. “Hi, unnie.”

“You’re not going to Canada for Christmas break, right?” Joohyun murmurs against Seungwan’s shoulder.

“Umm, no. Like I said, I’d prefer to go back there after graduation.” Joohyun feels a little giddy at Seungwan’s referral of Canada as ‘there’ rather than ‘home.’ Does she think Korea, _here_ with Joohyun, is her home now? God, Joohyun hopes so.

Joohyun smiles brightly and hugs Seungwan a little tighter. “Okay.”

Seungwan peers down at her curiously. “Why do you ask, unnie?”

“Nothing. I just…I want to spend Christmas with you.” Seungwan had gone home for the holidays the previous year, so they never got to spend Christmas and New Year’s with each other. Until now.

“I’d…I’d like that too.”

 

***

 

This by far, has been the best Christmas holiday Joohyun’s ever had. Sure, Christmas was amazing when she was able to spend it with her family. The mountain of gifts she had received each time were also an icing to the cake. But with Seungwan…being able to spend it with her roommate has just been downright magical.

They’d gone to the mall together, shopping for gifts for their friends and family. Joohyun had also accompanied Seungwan when the latter had mailed wrapped presents for her family back in Canada. They also tried their best to explore the city, as Seungwan never really had the chance to go to South Korea's famous hotspots, all the while eating and drinking in cafés and restaurants that they both haven't been to yet. They went to Lotte World as well, riding all the scary rides and screaming their heads off in terrified delight.

Only a day was not spent together, as they agreed to go their separate ways for one day in order to buy each other’s Christmas presents.

By the time Christmas Eve came, Joohyun and Seungwan were exhausted. Both being casual homebodies, the daily outings took a toll on their stamina. They had both concluded that it was worth it though, as each day spent together made them happier and happier, leaving content smiles on their faces once they immediately conked out every night.

 

***

 

After almost a year of thinking about it, Joohyun finally resigns herself to her fate. She doesn’t care if Seungwan doesn’t like her back in that way. The days they’ve spent together this winter further cemented her resolve. She doesn’t need to be in a relationship with Seungwan to be happy.

Friends. They can remain friends. Best friends, even. Are they not already?

Joohyun doesn’t need to feel Seungwan’s lips against hers, although during some nights, it does become difficult for her to remember this. Seungwan’s kisses aren't oxygen. Her hugs though, those come close. And Joohyun doesn’t need to be _with_ Seungwan in order to embrace her. Seungwan doesn’t seem to mind how tightly Joohyun hugs her anyway.

And those hands. Joohyun doesn’t need to be with Seungwan to intertwine their hands together. They do it practically every time they’re next to each other. Joohyun thanks God for the normalcy of skinship in Korea.

So Joohyun accepts it. It’s not the first time she’s been friends with a straight girl she’s secretly infatuated with. Joohyun accepts it and shoves the voices whispering ‘ _But Seungwan is different’_ into the most badly lit corner of her mind. She throws along with it the ones saying ‘ _How can you stay friends with her when you’re madly in love her?’_ as she and Seungwan decorate the Christmas tree they bought together. Flings aside the murmured ‘ _You’re falling even deeper’_ as she hugs and thanks Seungwan for giving her the prettiest leather jacket she’s ever seen. Wearily pushes away the taunted _‘You’re so fucking hopeless’_ as she gets blinded by Seungwan’s smile when Joohyun gifts her an espresso machine (without forgetting to add how her parents had contributed to funding said present).

Shove, throw, fling, push. Lather, rinse, repeat.

 

***

 

Joohyun and Seungwan are sitting on the sofa at their living room, drinking peppermint hot chocolate from their respective mugs, when Seungwan blurts out an “I lied” without preamble.

Joohyun furrows her eyebrows at Seungwan. “About…what?”

“I remember, unnie.”

Joohyun’s heart thumps heavily, in fear and hope. Joohyun swallows, setting down her mug on the coffee table. She doesn’t trust herself to speak, so she waits for Seungwan to continue.

“About that night…when we were drunk.”

“Only _you_ were, Wan-ah.”

Seungwan hears the indirect hint loud and clear. Both her hands tightly grip the warm mug, and she focuses her eyes on the smoke rising from the beverage. “I’m sorry,” she whispers to the drink.

Joohyun notes the sincerity of Seungwan’s apology, and she tamps down the distressing disappointment she once again feels, but Joohyun can’t help but be a little annoyed. Joohyun’s already told herself that she’s willing to accept this platonic standstill. She's come close to believing it, and now Seungwan has to bring it up. After almost a freaking year.

“I was…confused. I didn’t know what I was feeling.”

_It’s called the fluidity of your sexuality, Seungwan._

“I’m sorry I lied. I wasn’t sure. I didn’t want you to just be an experiment for me; something novel, something I’m only curious about.”

_Well, I’m glad you actually thought about my feelings, at least._

“So I stalled. I lied to stall. To be completely sure before I tell you.”

Seungwan takes a deep breath and slowly puts down her mug as well. Joohyun’s eye twitches as she realizes that the younger girl _still_ seems to be stalling.

Seungwan observes the borderline-distrustful look in Joohyun’s eyes and visibly gulps. Then she opens her mouth and begins.

 

***

 

Seungwan has always been certain of things. She was certain when she told her parents that she wanted to become a doctor. Firm confidence exuded from her when she added how she wanted to become a doctor in _South Korea_ , and not Canada. Seungwan was incredibly sure she was straight, until her looks of admiration for Joohyun turned into looks showing a desperate kind of longing. When people said girls have girl crushes because they either want to be her or be _with_ her, Seungwan undeniably believed that her choice was the former. But ever since she came to Korea and had been lucky enough to room and become friends with a certain Bae Joohyun, for the first time in her life, Seungwan became uncertain.

Seungwan’s uncertainty led her to make foolish decisions, such as lies and avoidance. She knew that she had hurt Joohyun with her actions. Seungwan hated herself for it, but the uncertainty made way for fear to stab through her. But this fear that had been choking Seungwan dissipated over the last few days, when she was able to spend practically every waking hour with Joohyun. The fear numbed down to nothing every time Joohyun smiled at her. Or even just looked at her, really. When they were able to walk around the entire city, hands inseparable, acting like a happy couple that Seungwan knew they could be. But then, some people’s stares burned through their intertwined hands, and this caused the receding fear to creep back up Seungwan’s chest.

But two days ago, as they lined up inside a café, an older lady sitting at one of the tables had narrowed her eyes derisively at their interlocked fingers, had curled her upper lip in disgust as she observed how Joohyun’s head was practically buried against the crook of Seungwan’s shoulder. Seungwan noticed this, as she had unconsciously seemed to expect judgmental looks from others whenever she’s with Joohyun. Seungwan’s shoulders had tensed in reflex, and she turned her head towards Joohyun, thinking of a way to extract herself from the taller girl. But then she saw Joohyun’s face, saw a soft smile gracing her ethereal features as she looked down at their hands which were interwoven together.

And with that, the clearest thought burst through Seungwan’s mind: ‘ _So what? So fucking what?’_

 

***

 

Seungwan stops talking as Joohyun softly laughs in response to her latest statement. Seungwan has watched a spectrum of emotions flit through Joohyun’s face while she tried her best to explain her stupidity: from an unreadable look, to doubt, to hope, to joy. Seungwan wants to say more. Tell Joohyun in five-hundred different ways how much she has fallen in love with her, and hopefully Seungwan will end up witnessing five-hundred different smiles from her, too.

Instead, Seungwan opts to inch closer to Joohyun. Hold one of Joohyun’s slender hands against her own. Brush her lips against pale knuckles one by one. Seungwan is rewarded with the same dreamy smile she had witnessed inside the café, two days ago.

Seungwan wants to tell Joohyun how much she loves her in five-hundred different ways. For now, she’ll start with the simplest.

“I love you.”

 

**FIN.**

 


	2. Floofilogue 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a short epilogue. Will upload a much much much longer one as soon as I can! ^^

Joohyun stares blankly at the keys in her hand for seconds too long as she stands outside her apartment door. Blinking back fatigue, she finally recalls what she’s supposed to do.

Insert key and turn. Open door. She never knew such mundane activities require such effort when you’re beyond exhausted.

At last, Joohyun gets it done and crosses the foyer. Her gaze zeroes in on the person seated on the couch, and Joohyun is pulled towards her like a magnet.

Joohyun buries her head on soft, brown locks and a vanilla-scented shoulder, instantly soothed by the contact and fragrance.

After some shuffling, warmth engulfs Joohyun further as a pair of arms wrap around her, letting her burrow deeper into the other girl. One arm moves up to gently run through her hair, and it takes everything inside Joohyun not to fall asleep right then and there, in the comfort of Seungwan’s arms.

“Hi.”

“Mmm.”

“Bad day?”

“Mmm.”

“What can I do to make it better?”

“Mmm.”

Seungwan chuckles at the lack of an articulate response to her questions.

The vibrations of Seungwan’s laughter tickle Joohyun’s lips, and she can’t help but pucker up to give a small peck to the former’s hair. Joohyun wants to raise her head and press into the other girl’s lips for a kiss, but her head feels like lead. She opts to just plant soft kisses onto any place nearby: Seungwan’s hair, her neck, her collarbone, her T-shirt. Joohyun smiles as she feels Seungwan give an almost-inconspicuous shudder in response.

“Are you hungry?” Seungwan asks, trying not to let Joohyun’s butterfly kisses distract her.

“Mmm.”

“Unnie…”

“I’m hungry for _you_ ,” Joohyun jokes, smiling against Seungwan's shoulder despite her exhaustion.

Joohyun feels Seungwan's shoulder shake against her as she laughs. “Unnie, you can barely keep your eyes open, and you’re going to say something like that?”

Seungwan's laughter seeps warmth straight to Joohyun's bones, and she hugs the girl tighter. She feels so lucky that she can come home to a girl with welcoming arms and a smile that can melt her worries away. “Thank you.”

“Huh?”

“I love you.”

“Joohyun…” Seungwan whispers, caught off-guard but touched, nonetheless. “I love you too. …Are you okay?” She continues to soothingly comb through the other girl’s hair.

Joohyun nods against her. “Yeah. I just need some sleep.”

“Alright. Come on, let’s get you to your bed.” Seungwan moves to get off the couch, but Joohyun stops her with a slight shake of her head, clinging onto her tighter, like a koala.

“No, I want to stay with you.”

“But you need to sleep in a proper bed, unnie.”

Joohyun pulls back to face the other girl. “Sleep with me?” She asks innocently, making sure to keep a straight face. Even sleep-deprivation couldn’t stop Joohyun from wanting to tease Seungwan, and she succeeds as she watches Seungwan's eyes go wide and her cheeks glow pink.

“I-I-I…”

“Are you thinking about dirty things, Wan-ah?” Joohyun teases.

“No!” The girl bursts out. “I…no…of course not.”

“Uh huh.”

“You’re mean.”

Joohyun steals a peck. “I love you,” she repeats against the younger girl’s lips.

Seungwan sighs in defeat. “So mean. Come on, unnie. I’ll stay next to you while you sleep.”

“So you _are_ going to sleep with me?” Joohyun teases once more.

“Do you want me to?” Seungwan's voice has gone down a few octaves and now Joohyun is the one stunned. She swallows audibly when she watches Seungwan cock one eyebrow at her, eyes serious. It was always fun to tease the younger girl, but Joohyun sometimes forgets that Seungwan has it in her to tease her back.

“I…” Dirty, dirty things flit through Joohyun's mind in the speed of light. Their relationship is relatively new, so they haven’t actually gotten past kissing. Joohyun is a patient person, but honestly, she’s _really_ looking forward to crossing past those boundaries with her girlfriend.

Before she can articulate a proper response, Seungwan smiles at her, shaking her head. “Let’s talk about this some other time, unnie, when you’re not going to conk out the minute you lie down on your bed.”

Reluctantly, Joohyun nods, reminding herself to talk about it with Seungwan soon. Or _do_ something about it with Seungwan soon. When she can keep her eyes open for more than a minute, that is.

 

 


	3. Floofilogue 2 (Final)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Long. Too much sickening fluffy nonsense. Sudden bursts of sexy times (although PG-13).

Joohyun tries not to look as desperately hopeful as she feels while she watches Seungwan chew on the baked cheese tteokbokki. _Her_ baked cheese tteokbokki.

Seungwan chews some more, her eyes going comically round as she does so. She finally swallows, and Joohyun waits in baited breath for the verdict.

“Unnie, this tastes so good!”

“...You’re not just saying that, right?” Joohyun remains skeptical; she thinks that she may have added too much cheese or chilli or garlic or—

“Of course not! It’s really good, I swear! Here, try it.” Seungwan stabs a mouthful with her fork and reaches forward to feed Joohyun, her left hand placed below the right one to prevent any spills.

Joohyun opens her mouth and accepts the rice cake. At the same time, Seungwan says “Good, right?”

“I haven’t even chewed yet,” Joohyun remarks, amused, before she chews and tries to assess her own cooking.

It definitely isn’t _bad_ , but she won’t go as far as to say that it’s five-star quality, either.

“Even if it didn’t turn out well, thank you for cooking for me,” Seungwan tells her with a soft and grateful smile and it makes Joohyun’s stomach flip-flop all over.

“I should’ve actually done this sooner. It’s the least I can do; you’ve cooked hundreds of dishes for me already.”

“Yeah, but you’ve also given me a place to stay,” Seungwan says, beginning their never-ending conversation cycle of who-feels-more-thankful-for-the-other. “And...well…” Seungwan trails off as she carefully swipes the side of Joohyun’s mouth with her thumb, wiping away a little speck of sauce.

The caring gesture makes the flip-flopping worse. “…And what?” Joohyun asks.

“...your heart,” Seungwan mumbles, turning crimson.

Joohyun chokes on the remaining food in her mouth. “Oh my world, that was cheesier than the tteokbokki.”

 

***

 

They’re both lounging on the sofa after dinner, drinking the hot chocolate they had just prepared together.

Joohyun had so much fun helping Seungwan stir the beverage to perfection, and not only because she was able to distract the other girl with back hugs and sudden smooches that made Seungwan blush, but also because cooking together had felt very domestic and romantic. Plus, Seungwan had looked so sexy concentrating on the task at hand, her eyebrows furrowing and eyes shifting quickly every now and then. Joohyun couldn’t believe that she hadn’t helped Seungwan sooner, and she vows to do it as often as she can from now on.

“Remember the last time we had hot chocolate?” Seungwan asks her. “It was during Christmas when we...when I…”

Memories flash through Joohyun’s mind, making her smile. The two of them decorating the Christmas tree together, having hot chocolate after, and then Seungwan confessing. And then the _kissing._ “Yeah...” Joohyun gulps and tries to keep her mind G-rated.

“I’m sorry it took me so long, Hyun-ah. I was...it was very—”

“It’s okay,” she reassures her. “I understand how confusing it must’ve been for you. I’m just happy we’re here now.”

“Yeah, me too, but I just keep thinking about all those months wasted when I could’ve just... _admitted_ it to myself right away. It was so obvious, but I was scared and you’re just too beautiful that I also got _so_ insecure—”

She interrupts Seungwan’s speech with a kiss, tasting a lovely blend of chocolate and strawberries. “Shh,” she chides after she pulls away. “And also, look in the mirror and you’ll see what ‘too beautiful’ and too perfect really is.”

“Oh God…” Seungwan gapes at her. “Are you trying to have a cheesy contest with me, unnie?”

Joohyun cringes. “No. Let’s stop. Yuck.”

Seungwan laughs, and she can’t help but lean back in to kiss Joohyun again.

It’s been awhile since they’ve got to spend this much time with each other recently since it’s Seungwan’s last semester in college, and she’s been very busy. They catch up on each other’s lives, but Joohyun has this one constant thing running through her mind each time Seungwan rants about her professors and possibly not being able to graduate (although this is truly just a mere exaggeration because hello? Biology’s Top One Son Seungwan?) because of the harsh workload that’s being handed to them.

Joohyun has had this idea of hers for a while now, and she decides to just go for it. She sets down her mug and faces the younger girl fully. “Wan.”

The girl’s raised eyebrows speak for her since she’s currently preoccupied with drinking her hot chocolate.

“I’ve been thinking...umm...are you planning to leave the apartment after you graduate?”

Seungwan stops drinking and freezes for a moment. Her face is unreadable as she looks down and focuses her gaze on her mug. “Well, I was only supposed to stay here for two years, so yeah. I’ve saved up a lot of money and my parents are willing to help out, so I can afford a decent place. Of course nothing will change between us. I promise. Just...please don’t get a female roommate, unnie? Get a disgusting guy who only shaves once a month and stinks so bad that you’ll always be at least five feet away from him.”

Joohyun giggles, finding Seungwan’s hinted jealousy cute. “Why do I need another roommate when I have you?”

“Huh?”

“You don’t have to move out after you graduate. _Please_ don’t move out. I already talked to Appa, and he’s more than willing to let you stay here with me for as long as possible.”

Seungwan’s eyebrows shoot up to the sky. “Really???”

“Really,” Joohyun says, nodding.

“...Do you want me to stay because I cook for you?” Seungwan teases.

“Wan-ah, you can stop cooking forever and I’d still want you to stay.”

The teasing grin Seungwan has on disappears and is replaced with a touched smile. “Thank you…but…are you sure about this?”

“Of course. I...you don’t know how happy it makes me knowing that you’re just a few steps away every time I fall asleep in my room. Or the fact that we can have unlimited sleepovers on the couch and I get to be only a centimeter away from you.”

Seungwan looks down shyly as she tries not to smile so wide. “Cheesy unnie.”

“So…? Will you be my indefinite roommate, Son Seungwan?”

The younger girl remains quiet as she sets down her drink on the coffee table. Then eager arms wrap warmth around Joohyun when she is enveloped in a tight hug. “Yes, Bae Joohyun. I’d love to be your indefinite roommate,” Seungwan mumbles happily against her shoulder.

 

***

 

“Wendy.”

Gentle fingers glide across her hair.

“Wendy.”

Move down to her nose.

“Wendy.”

Trace her lips.

“Wendy.”

Move down her neck to—

Seungwan’s eyes snap open, and she sees the heart-stopping face of her girlfriend. Her very naked, very sexy, very beautiful girlfriend, who is smiling at her like it isn’t seven-in-the-freaking-morning.

The hand doesn’t stop, and Seungwan groans and closes her eyes when Joohyun caresses her skin intimately.

“Wendy.”

“Wha—” Seungwan blinks blearily, still half-asleep, but also a whole-lot turned on.

“I love your name. Wendy. Seungwan. Son Seungwan.”

Seungwan thinks maybe Joohyun’s sleep-talking because she isn’t making much sense right now, but the latter’s wandering, _knowing_ hand tells her a very different story. Her hand exerts more pressure and Seungwan gasps, reflexively grabbing Joohyun’s wrist as she feels herself burning from the inside out. “Unnie…”

“I love it when you call me unnie.”

Seungwan moans because the fingers dip in and wreak havoc on her senses.

“I also love it when you call me Joohyun. Or Joohyun-ah. Or Hyun.”

Seungwan doesn’t respond, mostly because she feels like she can’t string words properly right now, so she just presses herself closer and loses herself in Joohyun’s touch.

“But I don’t have an English name. I kind of want one. Can you make one for me?”

“Huh? Uhn...u-unnie, don’t stop.”

“Wendy and...Sam? Wendy and...Stephanie? What name will go well with yours?”

“Oh my G—”

“I don’t think ‘Oh My God’ is—”

Seungwan shuts her up with a hot, tongue-filled kiss.

 

***

 

“Irene.”

Joohyun lifts her head up in confusion from her previous position where she had been burying her face against Seungwan’s neck.

“Irene,” Seungwan repeats. “I’ve...actually been thinking a lot about what English name could fit you, and my friend had been reading Percy Jackson and that name just came to me.”

“I...rene…” Joohyun tests it out, making sure to enunciate the ‘r’ properly. “What does it mean?”

“Well, in Greek mythology, Irene is a goddess, so it fits you perfectly.”

“Oh…” Joohyun blushes.

“She’s actually a goddess of peace,” Seungwan elaborates. “And it _may_ apply to you but...”

“Why the ‘but???’”

“Unnie, you’re not exactly very peaceful when it comes to games.”

Joohyun opens her mouth to contest that, but she finds that she can’t.

“But Irene is also the goddess of the rainbow, so that’s really why I picked the name for you.”

“Rainbow? Because I have a colorful personality?”

“Uhh...no. Because you’re very gay.”

“Yah!” Joohyun smacks her girlfriend on the thigh, hard.

“Owww! It’s true! _And_ it sounds good with my name. Wendy and Irene. Irene and Wendy. Wenrene. See?”

Joohyun narrows her eyes. “I feel like you’re teasing me.”

“I’m not! I tried all the goddesses’ names and they don’t fit like ‘Irene’ does. Wendy and Athena. Wendy and Aphrodite. It’s just not the same.”

“Hmph.”

“Irene-unnie.” Seungwan tries it out. “ _My_ Irene-unnie.”

Joohyun looks away and tries not to smile.

“Athena-unnie,” Seungwan says, immediately cringing. “Blech!”

“Fine.”

“Fine?”

“Fine.”

Seungwan smiles and plants a soft kiss on Joohyun’s pouting lips. “‘Irene’ may be nice, but I will always prefer ‘Joohyun.’ It’s the name that escapes my lips every time we...uhh...nevermind.”

Joohyun laughs loudly. “You’re so dirty!”

“Says the girl who woke me up with her dirty dirty fingers!”

 

***

 

Joohyun walks up to the counter and tries to fight back a huge smile as she sees the back of her favorite person in the world.

Said person turns around and smiles automatically. “Good afternoon! Welcome to—unnie?”

Joohyun gives the surprised Seungwan a little wave. “Hi.”

“I- wha…” Seungwan clears her throat, remembering that she’s on the job and she should treat her girlfriend like a customer. A very _pretty_ customer. “Uh…Good Afternoon. May I take your order?”

Joohyun’s eyebrows raise a little at the sudden shift, but she decides to play along. “Hi. I’d like a large green tea latte please. Hot.” Joohyun still feels dumb for thinking that she had no choice but to order coffee in a coffee shop when apparently, there are a variety of other options.

“Alright,” Seungwan says as she picks up a cup and starts scribbling down the order. “May I have your name, please?”

“...Irene.”

Seungwan chokes, quickly looking up at Joohyun who is smiling at her, eyes sparkling with mirth. “Irene...” Seungwan repeats.

“Yes. My really hot girlfriend suggested the name to me.”

“I...I see.” Seungwan blushes, ducking her head shyly as she writes down the name. “Will that be all, Irene-ssi?”

Irene nods and rummages inside her bag for her wallet. Just as she’s about to take it out, Seungwan hands her the receipt and gives her a small smile along with a slight shake of her head. Joohyun understands, and she mouths a ‘thank you’ as she takes the piece of paper, although she makes sure to brush her fingers against the cute barista’s before pulling away.

Joohyun makes her way to the pickup station and waits for her order. She takes the time to observe the buzzing coffee shop filled with businessmen chatting and sleep-deprived students probably trying to beat their deadlines.

She looks around for the perfect place for her to sit in, but suddenly, a loud and familiar voice rings out across the shop: “Large green tea latte for Irene!”

Joohyun turns around and is greeted by a very happy Seungwan, who hands her her drink.

“Aren’t you supposed to be manning the register?”

“I switched with Yongsun-unnie so I can make your drink,” Seungwan admits.

“Ah…”

“Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” Seungwan asks curiously.

“I just have to create a presentation and draft a few e-mails, so I chose to just do it here,” Joohyun explains.

“Oh… Well I’m glad you came by, unnie.” And Joohyun can really tell that she is, because her girlfriend is still wearing a very dopey grin on her face and it makes her heart flutter, knowing that she’s the one who’s making Seungwan happy. She knows serving countless customers can be very exhausting for the younger girl, so she hopes that she can cheer her up by being here today.

“What time do you get off work?” Joohyun asks.

“Umm...around five. ...Are you going to wait for me?”

Joohyun nods. “Yeah, why not? And then we can have dinner outside afterwards, before we go home?”

Joohyun doesn’t know how it’s possible, but Seungwan’s smile gets even wider. “Sure! Okay. Yay!” Seungwan replies enthusiastically.

Joohyun giggles at the cuteness. “Okay. I’ll go find a seat now. Bye, Wan,” Joohyun says, turning around to look for an empty seat once more. She finds one at a corner and she starts walking towards it, but she jerks in surprise when she hears a quick “Wait!” from behind her.

Turning back around, she witnesses Seungwan opening the little secret door incorporated into the counter. The younger girl crouches low and squeezes through it to get to the other side, where Joohyun is.

Joohyun continues to look on in surprise, wondering what Seungwan is up to. And she gets an even bigger surprise when the other girl walks towards her and plants a brief but utterly heart-stopping kiss on her lips.

She doesn’t even get to react in time and kiss Seungwan back. But when she comes back down to earth, the first thing Joohyun does is to look around and check if anyone saw what had just transpired.

“I don’t care” is what Seungwan simply says, bringing Joohyun’s gaze back to her.

And Joohyun almost tears up because Seungwan really doesn’t look like she gives a damn that she had just kissed her _girl_ friend in front of paying customers and basically the public eye. The soft smile the younger girl throws her way lets Joohyun know that she knows _exactly_ what she’d just done, as well as the greater meaning behind it.

“I’ll see you at five, Irene.” Then Seungwan’s off, making her way back behind the counter, ready to serve the customers that have just entered the cafe.

Joohyun is still rooted to her spot, and she probably looks crazy looking all frozen like that, smiling a huge smile that makes her cheeks kind of hurt, but she doesn’t care. It takes her a long while before she can will herself to move and find herself a seat. She puts down the almost-forgotten cup of green tea and notices that there seems to be a long message written all over the cup.

She picks her drink back up and reads it:

_“Irene. Aka the rainbow goddess of this unworthy mortal barista’s heart._

_Thank you for visiting me. :”)_

_P.S. You look beyond beautiful today. But you always do anyway. ^^ ”_

 

***

 

“A-Appa. I have something to say. _We_ have something to say.” Joohyun grabs Seungwan’s mutually clammy hand beneath the table to boost up her courage.

Joohyun’s father stops chewing his chocolate cake briefly and regards the two nervous women sitting in front of him. “Oh? What is it?”

“I...we...umm…” Joohyun takes a deep breath and steels herself. “Seungwan and I are dating.”

Joohyun’s father’s eyebrows rise in surprise, and he swallows his food before speaking. “Really?? Wow.” And to the shock of the two women, he turns to Seungwan and says “I didn’t know you liked my daughter back. I thought you were… Well, anyway, I’m really happy for the both of you.”

It takes a few shocked seconds before Joohyun registers her father’s words. “Liked me... _back?”_

_“_ Ah, well…” Her dad chuckles. “You’re not exactly subtle with the blatant heart eyes you direct at Wan’s way, Hyun. I noticed it during your graduation dinner.”

Joohyun’s mouth gapes open and closes like a fish while Seungwan looks down at the table in mild embarrassment.

“Is this what the dinner was about?”

“Ah...yeah, kind of,” Seungwan responds (because Joohyun still doesn’t seem to have gone back down to earth just yet), scratching the back of her head.

“Well, you guys have my blessing. Does your father know yet, Wan?”

“Uh...no, Appa. Not yet.” Seungwan doesn’t elaborate that her father doesn’t know a _lot_ of things yet.

“Ha! Yes!” The two women jerk in surprise as the CEO of a million-dollar company pumps his fist in the air like a frat boy. “I finally know something that genius of a man doesn’t!”

Seungwan bites her lip hard to keep from laughing, but she can’t help but let out a chuckle as she turns to see Joohyun looking shell-shocked at her father. Seungwan's eyes soften at seeing her girlfriend and she looks back at the man seated across from her. “I know words don’t mean as much as actions do, but I really love Joohyun-unnie, Appa. I hope I can show her that for as long as I can, and I hope you’ll be able to see it too. Thank you for your blessing, and as always, for making me feel like I have a family here in Korea.”

Joohyun’s father smiles at her, and Seungwan swears the man’s eyes were a little shiny. “You’re more than welcome, Seungwan-ah. And...I don’t think I need to do the whole ‘hurt my daughter and I’ll kill you’ thing, but...yes. Please don’t hurt my daughter. That’s all I ask. And Joohyun, don’t hurt Seungwan either. Also, please leave me out of the drama if ever you two have a lovers’ spat or something. Yeesh.” The man shudders, imagining it.

The two women laugh and promise to leave him out of it, although Joohyun admits she will definitely sleep in their family home if Seungwan ends up kicking her to the curb after a huge fight. Seungwan is flabbergasted after Joohyun says this, as she cannot process how she can kick someone out of their own home, when she herself is only staying there out of the generosity of the Bae family.

“I guess that’s how much power you have over my daughter, Wan.”

“Yeah, you make me weak,” Joohyun jokes.

“That’s...no. No, no, no. Okay, dinner’s over,” Joohyun’s dad says, cringing.

 

***

 

Seungwan hastily makes her way across the hall towards the apartment, silently praying that she can make it in time before the battery of her phone dies out.

She fumbles with her set of keys as she presses her iPhone between her lips, using its flashlight application to see which key she needs to use. She finds the right one and immediately unlocks the door to her apartment. She takes the time to stand by the entrance, her soaked clothes dripping onto the doormat as she shivers.

There is a blackout across the city due to the thunderstorm, which had begun just as Seungwan was three blocks away from home. Lucky her. Her dripping-wet-and-ultimately-useless umbrella lays limply by her side as she lets her eyes adjust to the dim room that is only being lit up by a tiny emergency lamp on the coffee table.

Before she can decide whether she should strip off her jacket or her pants first, there is a sudden thundering of footsteps, and she is almost knocked to the floor by a heavy warmth that slams into her, knocking the wind out of her.

“Oof!” Seungwan reflexively drops the umbrella to steady herself and the other person. “Joohyun?”

A sudden flash of lightning illuminates the room, and she catches a strained whimper come out of the other girl’s lips before the loud thunder claps.

“Joohyun, you’ll get wet! You shouldn’t—” But the girl just clutches onto her harder, not caring that Seungwan is soaked from head-to-toe and that the water is already beginning to seep through Joohyun’s clothes.

Seungwan sighs in defeat as she strokes the other girl’s hair, trying to calm her. “It’s okay. I’m here.”

“Y-you weren’t replying! And I couldn’t reach you through call…”

“I’m sorry,” Seungwan apologizes softly. “My phone’s battery was almost out, and I knew I needed to use it as a flashlight when I got here, so I turned it off while I was outside.”

Another flash of lightning makes itself known, and Seungwan automatically reaches up to cover Joohyun’s ears as best as she can before the sound of thunder comes and reverberates throughout the room.

Once it has passed, Seungwan cups Joohyun’s cheeks and brings her face up to meet hers. “Hyun-ah.”

The older woman’s eyes are still forcibly closed, and Seungwan’s heart is hurting at the fear Joohyun is displaying.

She doesn’t know what else to do, so she leans in and gives her girlfriend a chaste peck. Seungwan’s lips are probably ice-cold, as Joohyun’s feels so warm against her own. It does the trick, and Joohyun’s eyes flutter open.

“Hey.” Seungwan gives her a small smile, which the other girl slowly returns despite the fear still evident on her face. “I have to change my clothes,” she reminds her, and then she looks down at Joohyun’s soaked-through shirt. “And now you do, too. Come on.”

 

***

 

Thankfully, Seungwan finds out that the sound of thunder can barely be heard when they stay in the bathroom, so she immediately fills the bathtub with hot water, pours a generous amount of bubble bath gel, and sheds her clothes while instructing Joohyun to do the same before getting in the tub.

She feels herself fully relaxing as the warm water does its job of heating up her shivering body. The warmth of Joohyun’s bare skin against hers also comforts her to the point where she could just fall asleep right then and there, her chest pressed firmly against her girlfriend’s back.

Seungwan barely registers Joohyun turning in her arms, but her eyes flutter open when she feels the girl’s hot lips and tongue trace her neck. She gasps as Joohyun’s teeth join the fray, and it’s crazy how her body immediately responds to Joohyun’s touch.

It gives Seungwan whiplash, knowing that the woman kissing her right now had buried herself against her neck a few minutes ago, whimpering because she’s afraid of loud noises. She can’t help but chuckle at the one-eighty, making Joohyun lean back and look at her in confusion.

“Sorry,” she says, still laughing, looking anything but.

This earns her a smack on the arm. “Why are you laughing?”

Seungwan shakes her head. “Nothing. You’re just so cute.”

Her girlfriend regards her with enraged suspicion. “Cute?! Was what I was doing just now cute??”

Seungwan shakes her head again, opening her mouth to explain, but all she gets out is a choked moan when Joohyun suddenly reaches down and touches her in a manner that’s definitely _not_ cute.

“Is this still cute?” Joohyun teasingly asks her, biting her own lip as she looks down and watches her hand move underneath the blurry water.

Seungwan holds on tightly to the edge of the tub as her eyes blur in pleasure. “I-I didn’t... _fuck._ ” One hand tangles through Joohyun’s locks as she pulls her in for a hot kiss that leaves them both panting.

With Joohyun’s _very_ skilled fingers, as well as the steamy eye contact they held the entire time, it doesn’t take long for Seungwan to reach her peak.

“Was that cute, Wan-ah?” Joohyun asks as she pulls her fingers out, making Seungwan shudder at the sensitized sensation.

Seungwan sags as she lets out a short and breathless laugh. “Did you just do that to prove your point?”

“Hmm. Maybe.”

Seungwan shakes her head as she leans in for a kiss. “You’re unbelievable. And _so_ competitive. All I meant was that it’s so cute that you were scared a while ago but now you’re here being all sexy.”

“…Oh.”

 

***

 

“My _God_ , it’s so cold outside!” Joohyun hurriedly brushes the snow off her jacket and hair before practically running to Seungwan who’s currently stirring something that smells incredibly mouthwatering in the kitchen.

She steals a kiss on the girl’s cute, fluffy cheek just as Seungwan says “Well, you’re gonna have to get used to it.”

Seungwan immediately freezes the moment she says that, and Joohyun stares at her. “What do you mean by that?”

“I-I just meant because it’s winter and it’s cold so you just have to adjust...yeah.”

Joohyun tilts her head to the side, assessing Seungwan’s words. “That’s not really what you meant, is it?”

“Unnie…”

“Tell me.”

“No.”

“Tell me _now,_ Son Seungwan.”

Seungwan turns to her, exasperated. But she slumps her shoulders in defeat and sighs. She turns off the stove and sets down her spatula for a moment. “I’m sorry. It was supposed to be a surprise, but my big mouth messed it up. Umm...do you want to go to Canada with me, unnie?”

“...What??”

“After my graduation. You know I’m going to go to Canada for the summer before medical school starts, and I want you to go…with me.”

Joohyun looks at her for a long while, stunned and touched that Seungwan wants her to be there in the first place. “I...I don’t know, Wan. Don’t you want to spend time with your family? If I go, you’ll be lugging me around with you everywhere because I can barely English my way through an introduction.”

“I don’t mind. I want you to see where I grew up. Meet my family. Take you to all the tourist spots and make more memories with you.”

Joohyun tears up at that, touched, and she hides it by crushing Seungwan with a hug. “I love you,” she mumbles. But then she remembers something and groans out loud. “But I have woooooork. I’m an intern, so I don’t think I even have a single vacation day.”

“Actually, I asked Appa about it already. He said it’s okay, and that you can take a month off.”

Joohyun pulls away to look at Seungwan with wide eyes. “Really???”

Seungwan smiles. “Uh huh.”

Joohyun squeals with excitement, and Seungwan’s eyebrows raise in amusement and shock at the loudness. “Yay!!! Okay, okay, okay. I have to go buy a ticket now. Wait, let me get my—”

“No need, unnie. My parents uh...paid for your ticket. They really want to meet you.”

“They...do? ...Do they know about...umm...you and me?”

Seungwan scratches her head nervously. “Uh...yeah. Kind of.”

“...What?!”

“Well, a few days ago, I talked to them and I suddenly had the courage to tell them about me...being me. They were obviously shocked at first because they knew I’ve only dated guys before, but in the end they were okay with it. And it made me so happy that when they asked me how I even figured it out, I told them it’s because I fell in love. With you. They weren’t really surprised, and they told me to invite you over to Canada and I said that I was really planning to, so they offered to pay for your ticket, as well as for everything else once we get there.”

Joohyun stares at Seungwan for a moment, a little overwhelmed. “Wait...when did this happen? Oh! Was it when you burst into my room crying and just hugged me a few days ago???” Seungwan nods shyly in affirmation. “Aww, baby...” Joohyun pulls her back into a hug. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Seungwan hugs her back and buries her face against Joohyun’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. I was too overwhelmed with everything that had happened...and I was so _happy_ , but I also wanted to surprise you about Canada.”

“Ah…”

“And now I ruined the surprise. I even cooked your favorite today so I can tell you during dinner…” Joohyun interrupts Seungwan with a soft kiss. And another. And another.

“It’s okay,” Joohyun mumbles between kisses. She impatiently yanks up Seungwan’s sweater and discards it on the floor. “Celebratory sex?”

“…What?” Seungwan stares at her sweater, a little disoriented by the quick turn of events. “But what about dinner?”

“Dessert first. Dinner later.”

“...Oh...”

“Besides, we have to practice. This is how you’re going to keep me warm during those cold Canadian nights.”

“Unnie!”

 

***

 

“Nothing was happening, I swear!”

“Then why was he about to kiss you??? I saw it! I’m not fucking blind, Son Seungwan!”

“Okay, _before_ that, nothing was going on! We were just talking, and he suddenly did that—”

“ _Right._ ‘Talking.’”

“What the hell?! What? You think I was flirting with him?! Are you delusional???”

“I can’t believe you invited him here to study. In _our_ apartment. Be a little more secretive and go to a motel! Maybe you’re not as smart as you seem.”

Seungwan openly gapes at her, shock and hurt written all over her face.

Joohyun regrets what she had said the moment she said it, but the damage has been done. _Fuck_ her stupid PMS. _Fuck_ that stupid guy who tried to kiss her girlfriend.

“I’m not going to take this verbal lashing from you. Not if I don’t fucking deserve it,” Seungwan tells her, voice shaking with pain and rage. She quickly walks around Joohyun and enters her own room, slamming the door behind her.

Joohyun breathes heavily, panic taking over. Fuck, fuck, _fuck_. She screwed up. She doesn’t take Seungwan’s queue of ‘leave me the fuck alone’ and runs to the latter’s room, opening the door that she had just slammed shut.

Joohyun stops in her tracks when she sees Seungwan standing in the middle of the room, her back facing her. But Joohyun doesn’t fail to see her shaking shoulders and hear the quiet sobs echoing across the walls.

Without further hesitation, she strides forward and wraps her arms around the shorter girl from behind. The moment she feels Seungwan’s warmth pervade through her, tears leak out of her eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean _anything_ I said, I swear,” she hiccups. Fear takes over her. She doesn’t want to lose Seungwan. She _can’t_ lose Seungwan.

Joohyun cries even harder when she can physically feel Seungwan shaking in her arms. “Please,” she begs. “I-I can’t lose you. I’m sorry—”

Seungwan turns around in her arms, and Joohyun dies a little when she sees the amount of tears the other girl was shedding. “U-unnie…” she sobs out before she buries her face in Joohyun’s neck and cries harder.

Joohyun doesn’t know how many sorry’s she whispers and sobs out while she has her arms wrapped around Seungwan; all she knows is that they aren’t enough.

Finally, both of them stop pouring out tears, and their sobs die down quietly. Seungwan sniffles one last time before she pulls back from the hug, and she finds it in her to laugh at Joohyun’s swollen face. Joohyun just stares at her in confusion and doesn’t laugh with her because she still hasn’t forgiven herself for saying those disgusting words.

“I-It’s okay.” Seungwan tries to reassure her. “I know you didn’t mean them…”

“It’s not okay…” Joohyun tears up again. “I know...I _know_ you wouldn’t do that...I’m so...I’m mad at myself because I _know_ but I still assumed and—”

“Shh. I know you’re moody right now. And...and I’d be pretty angry too if I saw you with someone else. I’d punch them and break their nose, and—” Seungwan stops talking when she sees the gleam in Joohyun’s eyes. “No! Don’t—” She pulls Joohyun back because the girl literally almost left just to find Seungwan’s study partner and punch him square in the face. “Unnie.” She grasps the sides of Joohyun’s puffy face. “Anytime you think I’m cheating on you or-or if you see something like that happen again, just remember: I love you. And I’m yours. _Yours. Only_ yours. Okay?”

Slowly, Joohyun nods. Silence ensues for a while until Joohyun breaks it with an “Umm...maybe... Are you opposed to tattoos?”

“...Huh?”

“Do you mind if I tattoo ‘property of Bae Joohyun’ across your forehead or something?”

“Unnie!” Joohyun smiles a little, and Seungwan smiles back because the fact that Joohyun can joke a bit means she’s cheered up a little.

Joohyun pulls Seungwan in by the cheeks too. “You know I’m yours too, right? No matter what. I love you. I’m so in love with you…and I’m afraid about how much it consumes me sometimes.”

Seungwan nods because she feels the same way. “I know. I feel the same way, but we just...we have to trust each other. _Completely_. That’s the only way we won’t fall apart, Hyun-ah.”

“Yeah... I’m sorry. I _do_ trust you. It’s the _other_ people I don’t trust. Can you stop being so goddamn pretty and lovable? Only be like that to me.”

Seungwan laughs. “What? _You_ stop! Do you know how many people stare at you when we’re in public?? Thank God I don’t have anger management issues or a gun because—”

“You know why I don’t know how many they are nor care? Because I’m only looking at _you._ ”

Seungwan blushes and sighs. “Okay, fine,” she grumbles. “So cheesy.”

Joohyun pushes her away by the cheeks in retaliation. “Shut up. I’m trying to be romantic here. Plus, _you’re_ the cheesier one in this relationship.”

Seungwan pulls Joohyun back in by the waist. “I know.” She smiles. “We’re...we’re okay now, right?”

Joohyun nods, then hesitates. “As long as you forgive me for saying those mean things.”

“I do.” Seungwan seals her forgiveness with a brief kiss.

“Oh, wait,” Joohyun suddenly says. “I can’t forgive you.”

“What??”

“Not until you tell me that guy’s address. My father is quite powerful. I’m sure he has a hitman on speed-dial—”

“Jesus Christ, unnie. And didn’t your dad warn us to not involve him in anything?”

“He doesn’t _have_ to be the one calling. I just need the hitman’s number.”

“Right. Just let it go, unnie. And I promise, next time, if it happens again, I give you permission to slap the guy. Just _one_ slap.”

“One slap and a kick in the balls.”

“One slap and a little push.”

“One slap and you tell him to his face that you love me.”

Seungwan shakes her head and smiles. “Deal.”

 

***

 

Joohyun jerks awake when a warm but heavy weight falls on top of her at midnight. Thankfully, the supposed loud scream gets stuck in her throat once she realizes that it’s only her girlfriend.

“…Wan?”

“I can’t do it anymore,” she hears Seungwan mumble.

“Huh?”

“I can’t. It’s too much. Kill me.”

Joohyun’s senses finally wake up and go on high alert. “What’s wrong?”

“Everything.”

Joohyun is 99% sure of the cause of Seungwan’s distress. “You can do it,” she comforts the younger girl, brushing her hair soothingly with one hand and lightly patting her butt with the other.

“I can’t! Why do they make us study so many things at such a short amount of time?! This is a hundred times worse than when I was an undergrad! One undergrad semester is condensed into one freaking lecture! That’s just pure evil!”

“How many exams have you gone through?”

“Too freaking many.”

“Wan…”

“I don’t know? Like...twenty?”

“And you’ll go through the other twenty and still be here. And go through another hundred and still be here, fighting. I know you want to give up, but think of how many patients you can help once you become a doctor. Think of the lives you can save. They might not explicitly know of the horrors you had to go through just to get that ‘M.D.’ after your name, but they will reward you with their gratefulness, _and_ their trust. They’ll trust you to make the right decisions because you’re learning about them right now, _and_ you’re studying hard to remember them. Plus, you’re not alone. You have your batch mates with you, going through the same thing, _and_ you have me. I’ll always be here for you...even during my midnight sleeping hours.”

Seungwan’s smile grows the entire time, but she lets out a sheepish chuckle in the end. “Heh. Sorry.”

“Don’t be. I was joking. Plus, I’m very impressed with myself because I made such a great speech while I’m half-awake.”

“And thank you for that,” Seungwan tells Joohyun, planting a kiss on her lips.

“Mmm. Did it help?”

“Yeah.” Seungwan shifts around until she’s straddling the older girl. “You’re so pretty.”

Joohyun stares at her in disbelief. “I just woke up! My eyes aren’t even fully open.”

“Hmm. Still beautiful. Twenty out of ten. Will bang.” Seungwan lets out a loud chortle as she gets a smack on the thigh.

“My goodness, what a charmer. Go study.” Joohyun shoos her girlfriend, turning her head and already closing her eyes as she begins to drift off.

She feels Seungwan adjust herself again and she thinks that the girl will finally get off of her, but Joohyun’s eyes snap open when she feels Seungwan nibble on her earlobe. “W-what are you doing?”

“Hmm.” Seungwan tucks her hair back to gain more access and adds her tongue to the equation.

“Seungwan…”

“You smell so good, Hyun…”

Joohyun swallows audibly as she feels her entire body heat up. “Y-you’re supposed to be studying,” she argues half-heartedly.

“Study break,” Seungwan whispers against her ear, making her shudder and grab onto the other girl’s hips. “Actually...no.” Joohyun’s eyes follow Seungwan as the latter moves her head down. “I’m studying. See... _this_ is the clavicle.” Joohyun gasps when she feels Seungwan scrape her teeth against the aforementioned bone.

“And here’s the sternocleidomastoid…” Joohyun moans when she feels the girl’s tongue trace her neck from up to down with a few kisses in between. “Sternal head.” Up then down. “Clavicular head.”

Anatomical words have never sounded so sexy in Joohyun’s ears.

Too bad she still falls asleep in the midst of things, and Seungwan laughs at her the very next morning.

“I guess I’m not the only one who falls asleep during anatomy lectures,” the younger girl teases Joohyun behind her cup of coffee.

 

***

 

_“Tell me, is this the first time?_

_말해줘요_ _처음인가_ _요_

_Have you fallen for me as much as I have fallen for you?_

_나만큼요_ _빠진_ _거_ _맞_ _죠_

_I want to know everything_

_다_ _알고_ _싶어_ _요_

_If my heart has grown deeper than yours, like a fool.”_

_내_ _맘이_ _그대보다_ _깊은_ _건_ _아닌지_ _바보처럼_ _요_

By the time Seungwan has stopped singing, Joohyun’s face is drenched with tears, yet she is smiling from ear-to-ear.

It’s their first anniversary as a couple, and they both know that they have so many more anniversaries to look forward to together, because it’s only the beginning. They’ve been through a lot, but they’ve only grown stronger, and happier, as time passes by.

Joohyun runs to the girl putting her guitar away and smothers her in a huge hug, almost tipping them both out of the chair. She tells Seungwan that no, Seungwan’s heart has definitely not fallen more than hers because hers has already reached the Earth’s inner core, earning herself a laugh from the shorter girl who is on the brink of joyful tears.

They argue about whose love is greater until they end up progressing from mere words to actions as they try their best to outdo the other with kisses and burning touches.

Of course, they both end up winning, although Seungwan still insists her love for Joohyun transcends the universe, and therefore, knows no bounds.

As competitive as Joohyun can be, she sighs and lets Seungwan win this time, kisses her and tells her to prove it to her again. And again.

Seungwan is more than happy to do so.

 

**FIN.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg...it's finally over. :( AAAA~
> 
> During the writing process for this epilogue, I'm just like...get it over with already!!! Finish this!!! But now that I finally have, I feel so sad. I'll miss Roommates!WenRene and their stupid cheesiness and love for each other. TT
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the one-shot, as well as these bonus chapters. <3 Thank you for taking the time to read this long-ass fic hahaha XD


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